Sometimes, the more we focus on what’s not working, the more stuck we feel. Like our mind grabs a magnifying glass and hovers over the discomfort, the failure, the frustration, until it’s all we can see. It’s not because we’re negative or broken. It’s because our brains are trying to solve. To keep us safe. But in doing so, we can end up circling the same inner drain, again and again.
What I’ve found, both in my own life and in my work with clients, is that healing often begins not with pushing harder, but with a gentle shift in focus.
Noticing what feels good, or even just neutral. Allowing our attention to rest on something that isn’t trying to be fixed. A warm breeze. The way your feet feel when you stretch them out. The colour of the sky right now. A part of your body that’s not hurting. A small thing that went okay today.
This isn’t spiritual bypassing or pretending everything’s perfect. It’s about giving our nervous system, our mind, and our heart a break from scanning for danger. It’s about saying: “Yes, that’s hard, and also, I don’t have to hold it in both hands every second.”
When we shift focus, gently, kindly, even momentarily, we give our system space to soften. And in that space, new things can arise. Insight. Calm. Maybe even a tiny thread of hope.
So if you’ve been circling the same thought for hours, days, or years… maybe it’s not about fixing it today. Maybe it’s just about looking somewhere else, even briefly. Not as avoidance, but as kindness.
And who knows? That small act of turning your gaze might be what allows something new to arrive.
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